Friday, May 3, 2019

Discussion: Too Old for Love?


This Week’s Topic: Too Old for Love?


I had received a newsletter from Jen Doyle, where she talked about a movement to change the idea of putting an age restriction of romance heroes and heroines. What prompted Doyle to write about the topic was when one her heroines, who was a whopping 36 years old, was considered too old to fill the role.

I will admit, as a romance reader, the characters do always tend to be in their 20s or early 30s. Is it that the general population cannot fathom a person in their late 30s or 40s finding love or do authors and publishers believe people don't want to see older heroes and heroines?

I will say, that older heroes are featured more often than older heroines. I never realized it, until I tried to find books on my read shelf featuring mature heroines. Even the GoodReads list had mostly books with older heroes and younger heroines.

Being as I said goodbye to my 30s many years ago, I enjoy seeing characters find love later in life. I understand a 20 year old might not be interest in reading about two middle aged people finding their soulmate, but there must be other romance readers my age, who enjoy seeing a "peer" get their HEA. And, honestly, every time I encounter an, ahem, mature character, it gives me hope that it's not too late for me.

Doyle had shared this list of "Seasoned Romances", and I included a few I enjoyed as well.

Now it's your turn!

Have you read any romances featuring older heroines? 
Let us know in the comments!

68 comments:

  1. I noticed that too with the mass market paperback romances. It's always women who are in their early 20s and the slightly older man. I think in mainstream fiction, romances between people of any age are given fairer treatment. Even in the rare movie the leads are in their 50s or 60s--Something's Gotta Give and Last Chance Harvey are two that come to mind quickly. You're never too old for love is my motto.

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    1. I feel like I see later life romance more in movies/tv than books, but I would like to think you are never too old for love.

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  2. I agree with Leah. You're never too old to find love.

    Good topic.

    Honestly, I'd be happy to read a story about people well over the age of 100 falling in love. Age doesn't matter to me in the least when it comes to these things.

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    1. I don't need every book to feature older heroines, but there really aren't many out there considering how many romance books are published each year.

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  3. You're never too old! And, tbh, I don't think I've read a "seasoned romance". I think the oldest I've read was mid-thirties. But you're right! There should be more books featuring people in their 40s and 50s finding love, maybe even more!
    Genesis @ Whispering Chapters

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    1. I, myself, have read few with older heroines, that's why I am so excited when I encounter someone near or in their 40s. Authors seem to be more comfortable featuring older heroes, but still keep those heroines well under 40

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  4. I feel like I have read quite a few romances with heroes that were at least later thirties but the heroines are usually younger. I don't mind reading about younger couples but I do enjoy getting the chance to see people closer to my age or older featured as well. I think that I am about the same age as you and of course it is never too late :)

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    1. Same. I will read a romance featuring people of any age. I read YA, NA, and adult romances, but it would be nice to see more age diversity with the heroines.

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  5. I don't read a lot of romances. The only romances I really read are YA contemporary and they usually just have a little romance in them.
    But I don't think there should ever be an age limit on love. There needs to be more older women/men who find love in books.

    Ash @ JennRenee Read

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    1. Yeah, older people need some rep in the genre just like everyone else.

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  6. That's true! I did notice that, but I kinda figured I just hadn't found all the books where the heroines were older- not that there were so few!

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    1. I read so many romances, and I have found few. When I was searching, I found some Goodreads lists, and the books I knew on the list had older heroes, but the average age (20s-low 30s) heroine.

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  7. I don't read many romance novels, but in the few I've read, I did notice that it is very rare to find heroines in their middle/late thirties and above finding love. The same happens in fantasy (the Blackthorn & Grim trilogy and the Mercy Thompson series are some of the few exceptions I can think of at the moment). True love can be found at any age and more books need to portray it.

    Happy readings! ;)
    Tânia @MyLovelySecret

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    1. I guess there is a sweet spot across genres for the age of heroines.

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  8. Younger female and make leads falling in love is definitely the norm. I remember when I started Kristen Ashley's, Colorado Mountain Series (one of my favorites,) thinking to myself that the leading characters were older than I usually read about in romance novels. I loved the series and related to the maturity, and the character in general. Everyone wants to find love, and I think it would be great to give everyone a chance at hope, and relatability of the characters. I think there is an untapped market out there for authors and publishers in terms of giving us older and more mature romance leads that have lived a little more life. Great topic Sam!

    Lindy@ A Bookish Escape

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    1. The older H/Hs definitely bring a little different tone to the story, because they are just in a different stage in their lives, and because they have older, they most likely have accumulated more experiences. I just think it would be nice to see more of them, and found it interesting that the author's choice to make her heroine a little older was questioned.

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  9. I don't think you can be too old to love! Love is something anyone can experience, from all ages. It may come across differently, but it doesn't mean we should stop showing it. One of my favourite rom-com movies is called It's Complicated and it has a more 'older' love than the usual rom-coms!

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    1. I can think of way more movies with older heroines than books. I guess they pander to a different audience

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  10. I don't read romances but there should be older characters finding love. There is an overall shortage of older heroes and heroines in books for sure. I love seeing retired people and grandparents saving the day in books! In my prepper fiction there are more older people which is good as they have skills the younger MCs don't have. I like that.

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    1. I go gaga for grandparents in books. I did a whole post about it And I think they deserve a solid place in YA, because it is a fact that a large number of children are being raised by grandparents. Also By virtue of having lived longer, they can bring a great knowledge base and experience to the story

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  11. I've had some authors that I have been reading for decades, and as they got older so did their characters. And I love reading about more mature characters finding their happy ever after.

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    1. It's nice to see them grow older with their characters. I bet they can bring some interesting insights and nuances to the characters. because they do that

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  12. I never really considered this before and it is so accurate! There are lots of older heroines in the thrillers that I read, but definitely not in a romance novel. Maybe with an aging population, this should be a thing to change.

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    1. I agree. Mysteries and thrillers do feature many older heroines but not so much in a straight up romance novel. I am not saying they should dominate the market. but they should be represented

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  13. My grandma started dating a guy when she was in her late 80s, and they were both in a nursing home, so you’re never too old for love. :)

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

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    1. Get it grandma! She's awesome! Love this story 😍

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  14. I too have left my 40s behind and have found it isn't often I come across mature female heroines. It's always a pleasant surprise to find a more mature character falling in love in a story. Why not, It happens all the time in real life:)

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    1. I think the pubs need to give readers a bit more credit. But the upside is, how excited I get when I encounter an older heroine

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  15. You are never too old for romance, and books should reflect that. I think sometimes those romance with older characters fall into small-town romance series and crossovers in women's fiction. Having said that people are finding their forever or second go round later and we need more romances books featuring women over 30.

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    1. I def6seemore mature heroines in women's fiction. I just have a hit or miss history with women's fiction

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  16. I'm not sure if they are over 40, but I think the main characters in One Plus One are well over 30. I can't remember how old Eleanor Oliphant is. And Prodigal Summer is an older woman/younger man story. YES there needs to be more romance for older characters!

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    1. I loved One Plus One. The mom was older, but that fell more into women's fiction for me, as the romance was not the main focus. I DNFed Eleanor Oliphant twice. It was so depressing. I am under the impression that it must get better, though, because everyone seems to love it.

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  17. I feel like I've read at least a couple romances where the woman was a bit older, but I can't think of the names off the top of my head. Maybe some of Elin Hilderbrand's books? But you're right, it's not common and that's odd to me, considering how many female readers are out there.

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    1. Hilderbrand reads women's fiction to me, and maybe it was the one I picked, but I DNFed it. Women's fiction is hit or miss for me, though, I can say I have seen older heroines featured in women's fiction, just not so much in full on romance.

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  18. Agree, we could really stand to see more "older" romances- and I hate to even use that term since this can be so subjective. Not everything needs to be 20's, there's life beyond that! :)

    I know Geoducks are for Lovers sounds intriguing, I wonder if that's about geocaching?

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    1. A geoduck is a clam found in the Pacific NW, where the story takes place. Note: I did not know that before I read the book.

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  19. This is such a true point! We need to diversify ages in books. Actually its something I love about kdramas. They always have a storyline for older actors. We need the same in romances! ❤️

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    1. I feel like there is more diversity in other media, and there are tons of books featuring mature characters, but not so many in the romance genre

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  20. Yeah, older heroines tend to be a no-no or a separate sub-genre but I find it utterly bizarre. I'm far from a teenager but I can enjoy reading YA, how is it any different reading about someone in their late 30's to early 50's (or whatever) find love? Yes, it'd be a different kind of story because someone in their late 30s up are going to be very different people with a load of life experiences behind them but who wants to read the same stuff over and over?

    Kristen Ashley's heroines are usually in their mid-late 30s and their men tend to be 'older' too and they are hot, sweet and fabulous reads. (I can only think of a few of hers that are in their twenties...)

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    1. Ashley is an author oft mentioned regarding mature romantic leads. I guess people are more interested in reading an age they were rather than an age they are going to be?

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  21. I get more satisfaction out of a romance with older characters I think. I don't know why there Has to be an age restriction on love of all things.

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    1. I fell like it's an assumption the publishers make, as they do with any other "differences" of characters. They don't give the public any benefit of the doubt, that a good story will win them over regardless of age, race, religion, etc.

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  22. I know I have read a few romance book with older characters,but it's hard to think of many from the top of my head. Romances with characters in their 20-30's seem most common. Kelly Jensen her This Time Forever Series had older characters and I really enjoyed those. I would love to see more books with older characters in them and I do believe there are quite some people who would like to read about those.

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    1. I feel like I see older heroines more in women's fiction, which doesn't always work for me. I will have to check out Jensen's series.

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  23. I can think of very few off the top of my head that I've read that have featured older characters. There should definitely be more though because there's clearly a market for it.

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    1. I can think of a bunch of women's fiction but not straight romance. I don't need to see that rep in every book, but it would be nice to see a bit more if it

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  24. I always wonder if maybe it's a generational thing - a lot of women in their 40s/50s are shamed for reading chick lit and aren't encouraged to love themselves. I think it's all entangled with our society that's obsessed with youth, but I hope in the future there are more!

    Steph - www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

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    1. That's sad to me. I think it's a shame we are not allowed to age gracefully and revel in what all our years have given us. --sigh--

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  25. I just downloaded Teach Me today (it was ultra quick approval on Netgalley) after I'd seen some authors talking about it on Twitter and I'm dead excited to read. I admit, I used to be one of those people who don't want to read about old people falling in love. But as I've gotten older I've found I like reading about actual grown ups falling in love, it can be boring just reading about folks in their 20s, it gets dull as they all have the same issues. I just wish there was more romance where the MCs were older.

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    1. I saw Teach Me on NG and snapped it up, since Nick said it was a mature romance. I am excited about it. I look for variety in my MCs, be it age, religion, race, etc. I like to read about people with a variety of experiences and age is a factor that affects our experiences

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  26. I'm a grandma so I like seeing middle aged characters find love too. I don't think there's anything wrong with people in the 40's or older being the stars of the romance.

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    1. I love romance and would like to see myself in a story, every once in a while. I don't need that in every book, but it would be nice to see more than I do.

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  27. I love this discussion. There seems to be such a need for romance stories with mature characters. Speaking as someone who is, ahem, not a spring chicken, I do enjoy older characters in books.

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    1. I would like to think, that an author would allow some of their characters to age with them, and I find it hard to believe that there isn't an audience out there for it.

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  28. I don't read romance novels, but even in general fiction I am struggling to think of one book recently where an older female character has found true love. Older men yes, and with younger partners, but not older women. I did read the excellent A Change Of Time by Ida Jessen where an older woman found herself again after being widowed.

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    1. Right? That May-December thing is always there (heroine-hero), but I don't see the reverse too often, nor do I see an older heroine. I will have to check out that Jessen book. Thanks for the rec!

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  29. There's no such thing as too old for love, yes, but now that you mention it, we really don't get many older women in such stories and we NEED more! I love reading about people finding their HEAs, and there's definitely no age restriction on that as far as I'm concerned. Loved this discussion, Sam! <3

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    1. My requirement is just the HEA. I have read F/F, M/M, M/F and I read across ages. I just feel ike there should be a little more love given to older heroines in romance.

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  30. How ridiculous for someone to say 36 is too old for a romance! I mean, my perspective is not one of a romance genre reader, per se, but I'm not even 30 yet, and I still enjoy books that are about older characters. In fact, one graphic novel paranormal romance series I'm reading is about an immortal vampire dating a 61-year-old, and I love that! There really aren't a lot of books with older characters out there though, especially not women (the vampire is m/m). I think there should be more age variety in books.

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    1. And if a 61 year old is good enough for an immortal, why not for a mere mortal?! Sounds like a fun graphic novel, by the way. I guess trying to get more diversity in race/religion/sexual orientation is a bit more important, and you can't change publishing over night, but hopefully, at some point, we will see a little more age diversity in romance.

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  31. WELP as a 36 year old, I am wildly offended by whoever said that to Jen Doyle! But then as a raging pessimist, I am like "I am absolutely too old and will be forever alone goodbye". So, take that for what it's worth 😂 But I absolutely agree- it is ridiculous to put an age limit! One of the best books I read last year featured a 40-something badass space explorer and she found love AND saved humanity so WHATEVER to these gross ageists!

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    1. There doesn't seem to be as much age discrimination in other genres as there is in contemporary romance. I read plenty of women's fiction with older female MCs, but romance tends to keep them 30s and below. Publishers underestimate the reading public, as we know with their lack of diversity, but I think there is a market for "mature" romances.

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  32. I don't read many adult books, so I'm pretty much only reading about teenage relationships. LOL! But I can't believe that 36 is considered old in a romance---guess I'm ancient then! :-)

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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    1. I read across age groups, including a LOT of adult contemporary romance. I have definitely noticed the lack of older heroines, and am always excited when I encounter someone in the upper 30s or lower 40s. I just thought it was the books I was selecting, but apparently, it's a thing in romance.

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  33. I can't believe 36 is considered "old!" I agree that most romance novels I read feature heroines in their twenties. I would enjoy seeing more heroines in their 30s and 40s.

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    1. Right? A little age diversity would be nice. I am sure there is a niche for that

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  34. I have noticed this a long time ago. It's the whole age thing for women. I feel like if we are older, even in books, we are less attractive. I don't really care how old a hero or heroine is as long as I can relate to their character and root for them. Many people don't want to see oldies in books tho. It's a mans world still.

    Mary

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    1. PREACH! It's as if we have no value as we age, and I would love to see more romance writers challenge this

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